​​The Golden Spurtle review – very sweet, not…

Eccentric food-preparation competitions are usually the domain of eagle-eyed TV execs who must attempt to work out the drama can be spun across 24 weeks and showcase a dozen characters” for the nation to root for. Filmmaker Constantine Costi manages to go from top to tail in a whip-cracking 75 minutes, chronicling as he does the 2023 edition of the World Porridge-making Championships in the wee Scottish burg of Carrbridge in his charming film, The Golden Spurtle

We’re largely placed in the hands of porridge Chieftain, Charlie Miller, who is planning to hang up his own spurtle after this, the 30th edition of the event. Chefs, foodies and porridge-lovers from around the globe assemble to take part in a knock-out competition whereby each contestant is given a short window to produce a dish made solely from oats, water and salt. 

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Were you to rock up into the Carrbridge town hall with a sachet of Oat So Simple at this pivotal moment, you’d be hounded out of town with a sharpened broomhandle. Unlike the breakfast staple that the film obsesses over, this is a featherlight film that contains very little cinematic roughage, and it offers a celebration of longtime tradition that preserves the hoary old stereotypes of having a group of women handle all the washing up afterwards. And as porridge-eaters out there will know all too well, that’s not an easy task. 

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